If you listed any or all of these in an attempt to describe what I encounter whenever I try to talk to women, congratulations. That was remarkably accurate. (Note: some occur more often than others) Also, how dare you.
Coincidentally, mentioning Twitter in casual conversation usually engenders the same reactions. Seriously, responses always boil down to some version of:
"I don't get Twitter. It just seems so stupid."
"You have a Twitter?? (quick look of revulsion) What you do you use it for?"
"Hey! You have a Twitter?! I do too!! What's your username?"
Just yesterday, my friends and I were discussing something and one remarked, "Oh yeah! I tweeted about it the other day." I felt momentary confusion at hearing the word "tweeted" used so casually in conversation until I realized we've reached that moment as an modern, technologically forward society. Twitter is no longer a fad that can be ignored, having surpassed 200 million users recently. Time to get on that train, people, (or at least understand it) unless you'd like to end up one of these:
For the completely uninitiated (quick look of revulsion), Twitter is a "microblogging" social networking service that offers users the ability to share well, anything they want in 140-character messages called tweets. These messages are displayed on one's profile and are freely available to the general public for consumption (you can restrict your tweets to just your followers if you so choose). Users can also subscribe to other accounts, and such tweets of those you follow are collectively shown in one's timeline. You may contact anyone with a public profile by mentioning them (defined by typing the "@" key, followed by their username) as well as send private messages. Get the gist of it yet?
Let me be clear: Yes, Twitter can be simultaneously incredibly useful and incredibly stupid. Many of the pre-conceived notions about it are true. They, however, gloss over its extremely versatile nature. Twitter is a bizarre and entertaining hodgepodge of generic drivel, spam, meaningful information, insightful commentary, and hilarious creativity. Put all together, it's a revolutionary tool on par with (perhaps even surpassing) Facebook and totally undeserving of the rep it gets from common folk. Here are some reasons why:
Breaking News: Twitter has completely revolutionized how the public consumes its information. In fact, the folks in charge quickly recognized this invaluable trait a couple years ago and changed the status update question from "What are you doing?" to "What's happening?" If you happen to follow the right accounts, you can get a pretty good grasp on what's happening in the world (or whatever part of culture you're invested in) with a quick look of your timeline.The ability to easily update or "retweet" what others have updated further streamlines this process. Almost all reporters, bloggers, and/or publications, most notably in the sports world, first share what they learn on Twitter now, so you know you are getting instant information directly from a credible source. Heck, even politicians (not as credible) use it. For what's it worth, I learned much of the recent events of Libya and Egypt from Twitter alone. No, I choose to think of myself as efficient and savvy rather than woefully ignorant, thank you very much.
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What, Joe Jonas? You're in the middle of--just kidding; I don't follow the Jonas Brothers. (scrambles quickly to edit Twitter account)
In all seriousness, it's an amazing way to connect with fans. Filmmakers and actors answer questions from eager beavers about current projects. Musicians share new songs and tour dates. Comedians try out material and can receive instant feedback. Athletes give away tickets or apparel. For as shallows as it seems (and often is), Twitter allows us plebeians to feel closer to these higher beings, and that has never been achieved before in such a fast, simple, and (most importantly) free manner. I mean, where else would I learn Russell Westbrook takes a lot of "mean naps" and mentions, without fail, before every game, "headed to the Ford Center! Ayyyyye, fam bam! Letss get it!!!!"? No, I don't know what that means either.
Marketing & PR: This aspect somewhat piggybacks on the previous two. Have something to plug? Perhaps a movie out this weekend, an blog article just posted online, or a charity/cause to raise awareness about? Twitter does all this instantly, free of charge, to people/customers already rooting for your success, and who in turn can retweet and promote to their own spheres of influence.
If you run a savvy business/corporation, you most likely also run a Twitter account (or at least pay some lucky 24-year old "social media coordinator" to do it for you). Anything and everything, from department stores to restaurants to job openings, can be promoted. I can't tell you how many deals I've stumbled upon following various Amazon accounts. Look, these companies want your attention and you'd be a fool not to pass them up. Conversely, it's also a direct avenue should you have any questions/complaints for said companies. If anything, you're spared customer service lines and the accompanying migraine.
Communication: To rehash, the main knock against Twitter is the whole "no really cares about your opinion or what you're currently up to at the moment" thing. I have to respectfully disagree. The trending topics list provide a snapshot into the mood of the world. Twitter itself is portal to that world, allowing its users to effectively converse with people previously inaccessible (someone abroad, a basketball blogger, a celebrity, etc.). It opens up whole new avenues to engage in and explore, all without the need for friend requests or email addresses or phone numbers. It provides a communal experience, a "virtual water cooler," where millions can discuss and share their thoughts on the Oscars or the Super Bowl or midterm elections. Anything, really. Most importantly and more personally, whether indirectly or directly, it allows me to stay in touch with people I care about. Perhaps a short message to old friends from college. A single tweet on my timeline updates me on what they've been up to. Almost instantly, I can feel involved in their lives somehow. Even if they don't know it, I am still connected to them. That alone makes Twitter worth it to me.
Yes, individual tweets are usually meaningless. Yes, it's probably not all that productive to be share #uknowyoudrunkwhen stories. Yes, we are seeing the slow, systematic butchering of the English language. But taken all together, as part of a thriving ecosystem, there is no better way to engage society. For better or worst, Twitter truly has brought the world closer together.
For heaven's sake, whole revolutions and protests were organized on Twitter. If the ability to topple governments is not enough to demonstrate its highest potential, nothing will.
I know, some things just aren't for everyone. But I hope I was articulate and convincing enough (probably not) to persuade any doubters not to immediately dismiss Twitter anymore. And some day, when not knowing what The Rock has been up to becomes just too unbearable, I hope they'll hop on board that train. I'm @SenorJeffer in case you ever decide you need more quasi-stupid rhetorical questions and observations in your life.
I leave you with a video that perfectly encompasses everything I just spent way too long writing about. In fact, I probably should have just posted it at the beginning. But no matter, I got your pageview already! And uh, thanks for reading! (start at 15:25 til about 20:00. Better yet, watch the whole thing if you can. It's worth it.)
