On Tragedies

I cried this morning. Heavily.

I was in the middle of eating breakfast at work, reading coverage on the earthquake in Japan, and came upon this picture:

I then saw this picture. And this picture. And...yeah.

I got up and hid in the bathroom for a couple minutes to gather myself.

I pictured people in those homes. I pictured people in those cars, on their way to and fro. I pictured big things like whole buildings floating with the water. I pictured little things like family photo albums ruined, memories gone with the waves. I pictured how many lives forever changed, not to mention how many lives forever lost.

I just donated to the Red Cross. It's the first time I've ever done so, despite ample opportunity. Better late than never? Try telling that to the people of Haiti, New Orleans, or the Indian Ocean. 

I ponder why I didn't feel this way during the last disaster. Or for the one(s) before that. I didn't help then. Certainly, I followed them. Certainly, I was sympathetic. Certainly, I was horrified. Certainly, I sent thoughts and prayers.

I struggle with that term. Thoughts and prayers. That phrase is everywhere. It's on Facebook, on Twitter, on television, on print. From politicians to celebrities. From strangers and from friends.

I wonder if it all means anything. In reality, of course not. Thoughts don't rescue victims. Prayers don't clean up debris.

I wonder how long I will feel this affected. Media fatigue will eventually settle in. It has before. At least until the next disaster.

I will go back to my normal life. I will ignore the Libya situation in favor of Charlie Sheen updates. I will play basketball and play video games this weekend. I will probably watch a movie. I will continue on because the events in Japan will never truly hit home.

I, of course, feel ashamed. Does that make me a lesser person? Or does it make me human?

I love romantic comedies. I am skeptical (initially, at least) of every steroid scandal in baseball. I believe in mistakes or mishaps first--not ulterior motives--when things don't go according to plan.

I am an optimist. For someone so sarcastic all the time, cynicism is my least favorite quality. The status updates and tweets fill me with pride, instead of snark. For the moment, people are paying attention. Some will donate. Some of them will be driven to action. That will help.

We care. We are here. We are, or we would like to be, together. However brief.

I think that still matters.